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So your kid is in ninth grade now!

High school is a big deal and comes with a lot of changes. Parenting isn’t easy but we want you to know we’re here for you. Every kid is different, but here are some things that we think could help and be good to know.

One question we believe almost every ninth grader is asking is, "What is real, and why should I care?" Ninth graders are looking at the world more critically than they used to. They’re looking at what they’ve always been told and starting to question what’s actually true and what they value. They’re also asking this about faith. When students your kid’s age come to CCStudents, we try to answer this question through not just words, but experiences.

This generation is convinced much more by tangible experiences than they are by factual explanations. When a student has a real experience of God, sees the impact that the way of Jesus has on the world, or feels their own life change, they begin to see that He’s real and understand why they should care.

Your role in your child's life is becoming less authoritative and more relational.

This is a critical phase where parents should strategically shift from giving the answers to helping their kids discover and explore the answers for themselves. Try giving less answers, listening more, and asking good questions that help their kid discover the answers for themselves. When a parent does this, their child feels more validated and more open to share what’s on their mind.

They’re full of potential. They’re beginning to see what they’re good at. Affirm all the good and gifts you see in them, but above all else, let them know you love them just because you love them.

They’re desiring more freedom. When you shift things that have been rules into choices, they’ll experience the benefits and consequences of those choices for themselves and learn. They’ll also appreciate the trust and freedom. Obviously, this one takes a ton of discernment.

Ways Your Child is Changing.

PHYSICALLY

  • Has a hard time falling asleep before 11 pm but still needs 9 hours of sleep.
  • Boys may start to experience their voice changing, weird dreams, and increased acne.
  • Girls start to take on an adult appearance.

SOCIALLY

  • Increased interest in sexual expression, but dating tends to be short-lived.
  • They say they want parents to listen more than advise.
  • May be tempted to change their appearance or behavior to gain acceptance.

MENTALLY

  • Increasingly able to focus, recall, and organize info.
  • Overly self-aware; may think “everyone’s watching me.”
  • Wired for risk-taking and sensational experiences.
  • Resists embarrassing situations.
  • “I’m bored” often means “I don’t understand.”

EMOTIONALLY

  • Feels empowered through choices rather than rules.
  • May still feel insecure about their body changing.
  • May experience changes in motivation.
  • Seeks experiences that create intense feelings and emotions.
  • More vulnerable to addiction such as self-harm, alcohol, or pornography.

The Three Most Important Things to Remember.

If you would like help or ideas on how to do any of these things, we are always here to help!

Resources We Recommend.

Books.

If you’re unable to afford any of these resources, please let us know—we’d love to help!

Teach Your Children Well
This book gives a brilliant, effective and yet simple perspective on how we can help our kids form a deep relationship with Jesus. This is for all of us imperfect parents with limited time and capacity.
Parenting Your Ninth Grader
This has a lot of blank pages for processing questions which isn’t for everyone, but the other pages are full of very insightful information and practical advice or ideas that can help clarify how to engage with your kid.
Seen
This short read is incredibly helpful in knowing how to respond to a kid who’s experiencing more anxiety or sadness than normal.
Beyond the Spiral
A companion book to Seen, but written to teenagers and young adults to help them understand and manage their anxiety. This could be a great book to go through together with your student if that's something they're experiencing.
The Primal Teen
This comes from a psychological perspective that gives insight into why teenagers think (or don’t think) in unexpected ways. A good book for science nerds.
Generation Alpha
This book is based on extensive social demographic research. It dives into the complex experiences and challenges that Generation Alpha (anyone born 2010-2014) faces. It’s a practical guide for how to “best raise, educate, and guide Generation Alpha.”
Every Parent's Guide to Navigating Our Digital World
Technology is difficult to keep up with, but this book is helpful in giving practical direction in how to not just protect your kids, but to connect and interact with them in more meaningful ways.
Parenting in a Tech World
Technology is difficult to keep up with, but this book is helpful in giving practical direction in how to not just protect your kids, but to connect and interact with them in more meaningful ways.

Podcasts/Websites.

The Bible App
The majority of kids today don’t use a physical Bible regularly. If you teach them how to engage the Bible through an app, you’re teaching them to use the version of the Bible they always have in their pocket. That’s a win! If you want your kid to read the Bible, the most effective way to develop that habit is to do it with them.
Parent Cue Blog
This website is crammed with tons of articles on many subjects with practical helpful advice.
The Parenteen Podcast with Dr. Chap Clark
This bare-bones podcast gets straight to the heart of what teenagers need and long for most.
Hi, I'm Stetson Beaman!

I’m the NextGen Pastor at Christ Community. I'm thrilled to partner with you in guiding and discipling your student. They are the leaders of today, anointed with compassion, inclusion, and a passion for change. Student ministry involves the entire family, so if I can support you or if you'd like to grab a coffee, please reach out!

CCStudents is for eighth through twelfth graders and meets every Wednesday from 6-8 pm at Zoe's Cafe in downtown Greeley.