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So your kid is in eighth grade now!

Middle school is an important time that is full of change. Parenting isn’t easy, but we want you to know that we’re here for you. Every kid is different, but here are some things that we think could help and be good to know.

One question we believe almost every eighth grader is asking is, "Am I part of something bigger?" Eighth graders are more “chill” than they were before. They are more in control of their emotions, and this gives way to deeper thinking and therefore bigger questions about their beliefs. They will think more about how they really feel about the world and their faith, and they will start asking lots of questions to find answers. At CCStudents, we try to answer their wonderings through experiences, and by giving them a space to think about these questions.

They want to understand what they are a part of. When a student has a real experience with God in a way that changes the world, their people, and themselves, they will see that God is real and that His love is bigger than they thought! When they hear the gospel in the context of the whole story of everything, they’ll see that they are also a part of that story.

They prioritize the places and people where they feel belonging. The last thing they want is to be alone so they’re looking for a community where they’re accepted and belong. When a student finds people who see, know, and love them like Jesus, they find what they’re looking for and experience how much Jesus loves them.

Your role in your child's life is to encourage them to think, ask, and feel.

In this phase, parents can be strategic by thoughtfully asking their students about what they believe. Despite the one-word answers and eye rolls, they actually want to have adult conversations about these big ideas. Their thoughts about what they believe are big and complex, and if you give them a space to express their thoughts with you, they will take you up on it.

They thrive on options: When offering guidance, your student will respond better if you present options rather than a firm “this is it.” Giving them choices helps them understand your point while allowing them to reach their own conclusions—which feels empowering and builds trust.

They are smarter than before: There is no one smarter, actually—just ask them! Sometimes this makes them impatient and unwilling to explain themselves. Remember, it's important how they personalize what they believe in this phase. Encourage their personal discoveries and let them know how much you love them! Your love and affirmation will be a constant they’ll lean on while so many things are changing.

Ways Your Child is Changing.

PHYSICALLY

  • Needs 9-11 hours of sleep and are easily fatigued or could have headaches.
  • Girls outpace boys in development.
  • Bodily changes involving height, weight, hair, and odor are rapidly occurring.

SOCIALLY

  • Interest in politics and current events goes up.
  • Wants to understand rules and negotiate them.
  • Needs healthy non-parental influences.
  • More concerned about personal appearance than personal environment (bedrooms, lockers, etc.)

MENTALLY

  • More capable of self-evaluation and critique.
  • Growing ability to organize.
  • Able to see both sides of an argument, and enjoys expressing their opinion.

EMOTIONALLY

  • Enjoys sarcasm and sophisticated jokes.
  • Wants to lead more and enjoys teaching those younger than they are.
  • Might emphasize physical appearance and performance.
  • Slowly starts to feel more comfortable in their own skin.

The Three Most Important Things to Remember.

If you would like help or ideas on how to do any of these things, we are always here to help!

Resources We Recommend.

Books.

If you’re unable to afford any of these resources, please let us know—we’d love to help!

Teach Your Children Well
This book gives a brilliant, effective and yet simple perspective on how we can help our kids form a deep relationship with Jesus. This is for all of us imperfect parents with limited time and capacity.
Parenting Your Eighth Grader
This has a lot of blank pages for processing questions which isn’t for everyone, but the other pages are full of very insightful information and practical advice or ideas that can help clarify how to engage with your kid.
Seen
This short read is incredibly helpful in knowing how to respond to a kid who’s experiencing more anxiety or sadness than normal.
Beyond the Spiral
A companion book to Seen, but written to teenagers and young adults to help them understand and manage their anxiety. This could be a great book to go through together with your student if that's something they're experiencing.
The Primal Teen
This comes from a psychological perspective that gives insight into why teenagers think (or don’t think) in unexpected ways. A good book for science nerds.
Generation Alpha
This book is based on extensive social demographic research. It dives into the complex experiences and challenges that Generation Alpha (anyone born 2010-2014) faces. It’s a practical guide for how to “best raise, educate, and guide Generation Alpha.”
Every Parent's Guide to Navigating Our Digital World
Technology is difficult to keep up with, but this book is helpful in giving practical direction in how to not just protect your kids, but to connect and interact with them in more meaningful ways.
Parenting in a Tech World
Technology is difficult to keep up with, but this book is helpful in giving practical direction in how to not just protect your kids, but to connect and interact with them in more meaningful ways.

Podcasts/Websites.

The Bible App
The majority of kids today don’t use a physical Bible regularly. If you teach them how to engage the Bible through an app, you’re teaching them to use the version of the Bible they always have in their pocket. That’s a win! If you want your kid to read the Bible, the most effective way to develop that habit is to do it with them.
Parent Cue Blog
This website is crammed with tons of articles on many subjects with practical helpful advice.
The Parenteen Podcast with Dr. Chap Clark
This bare-bones podcast gets straight to the heart of what teenagers need and long for most.
Hi, I'm Stetson Beaman!

I’m the NextGen Pastor at Christ Community. I'm thrilled to partner with you in guiding and discipling your student. They are the leaders of today, anointed with compassion, inclusion, and a passion for change. Student ministry involves the entire family, so if I can support you or if you'd like to grab a coffee, please reach out!

CCStudents is for eighth through twelfth graders and meets every Wednesday from 6-8 pm at Zoe's Cafe in downtown Greeley.