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So your kid is in tenth grade now!

High school is a big deal and comes with lots of changes. This may be the year they start to drive! Parenting isn’t easy, but we want you to know that we’re here for you. Every kid is different, but here are some things that we think could help and be good to know.

One question we believe almost every tenth grader is asking is, "How does this change me and the world?" Tenth graders are more sure of themselves than ever. They can explain to you why they think certain ideas, people, and groups are more important than others. They can explain to you why the things you’ve said are bad are actually okay. But they will start to wonder about how each new thing they hear or experience will impact them or the world. They are testing to see if it’s real by the impact they experience and how it makes them feel. They are also asking this about faith. When your students come to CCStudents, we try to answer this through experiences that go beyond words and into action.

They are full of curiosity…and they value relevance. When a student experiences God in a tangible way that actually makes a difference, they more clearly see how He impacts and benefits their life. And if they see how God makes a difference, they will also start to pay attention to how God invites them to impact the world.

Your role in your child's life is to mobilize their potential to learn.

This is a critical phase full of learning experiences. Celebrate their positive experiences and support them through the bad ones. Teach them how to think critically about what they hear. They want to experience for themselves the things they’ve always been told to see if they’re true. Is the thing they were told was bad actually that bad? Is the thing they were told was good actually good?

They’re stepping into new things: They are more independent than ever, and that feels new to everyone. Boundaries are healthy here. But your tenth grader is not thinking ahead ten years from now like you are. Sticking with the here-and-now benefits and consequences during the boundary conversation might help while also communicating that you love them and want them to be safe.

They're experiencing more life: Those life-shattering bad things you warn them about daily? They're happening to some of the people your student knows. They might also start to learn that the standards you hold for them don’t line up with the stories they've heard about you when you were their age. Expect them to challenge you on all of it. It will be helpful to be open, honest, and clear about where you are coming from so that they can better understand your heart.

Ways Your Child is Changing.

PHYSICALLY

  • Has a hard time falling asleep before 11 pm but still needs 9 hours of sleep.
  • Girls are likely to be fully developed in height and body.
  • Guys might experience voice changes, weird dreams, and increased acne.

SOCIALLY

  • Interest in sexual expression increases. Dating becomes more “committed.”
  • Increased susceptibility to date violence and sexual assault (peaks at age 16).
  • Might experience depression; highest year for teen suicide.
  • Desires responsibilities that increase freedom.

MENTALLY

  • Increasingly able to focus, recall, and organize information.
  • Increased awareness and criticism of global issues and politics.
  • Wired for more risk taking and sensational experiences.
  • Tends to be curious, inquisitive, and drawn to the supernatural.

EMOTIONALLY

  • Empowered by choices instead of rules.
  • Seeks experiences that create intense feelings and emotions.
  • Enjoys sharing ideas with adults who listen to them.

The Three Most Important Things to Remember.

If you would like help or ideas on how to do any of these things, we are always here to help!

Resources We Recommend.

Books.

If you’re unable to afford any of these resources, please let us know—we’d love to help!

Teach Your Children Well
This book gives a brilliant, effective and yet simple perspective on how we can help our kids form a deep relationship with Jesus. This is for all of us imperfect parents with limited time and capacity.
Parenting Your Tenth Grader
This has a lot of blank pages for processing questions which isn’t for everyone, but the other pages are full of very insightful information and practical advice or ideas that can help clarify how to engage with your kid.
Seen
This short read is incredibly helpful in knowing how to respond to a kid who’s experiencing more anxiety or sadness than normal.
Beyond the Spiral
A companion book to Seen, but written to teenagers and young adults to help them understand and manage their anxiety. This could be a great book to go through together with your student if that's something they're experiencing.
The Primal Teen
This comes from a psychological perspective that gives insight into why teenagers think (or don’t think) in unexpected ways. A good book for science nerds.
Meet Generation Z
This book offers an incredibly insightful look into how your kid’s generation thinks and engages with spirituality.
Every Parent's Guide to Navigating Our Digital World
Technology is difficult to keep up with, but this book is helpful in giving practical direction in how to not just protect your kids, but to connect and interact with them in more meaningful ways.
Parenting in a Tech World
Technology is difficult to keep up with, but this book is helpful in giving practical direction in how to not just protect your kids, but to connect and interact with them in more meaningful ways.

Podcasts/Websites.

The Bible App
The majority of kids today don’t use a physical Bible regularly. If you teach them how to engage the Bible through an app, you’re teaching them to use the version of the Bible they always have in their pocket. That’s a win! If you want your kid to read the Bible, the most effective way to develop that habit is to do it with them.
Parent Cue Blog
This website is crammed with tons of articles on many subjects with practical helpful advice.
The Parenteen Podcast with Dr. Chap Clark
This bare-bones podcast gets straight to the heart of what teenagers need and long for most.
Hi, I'm Stetson Beaman!

I’m the NextGen Pastor at Christ Community. I'm thrilled to partner with you in guiding and discipling your student. They are the leaders of today, anointed with compassion, inclusion, and a passion for change. Student ministry involves the entire family, so if I can support you or if you'd like to grab a coffee, please reach out!

CCStudents is for eighth through twelfth graders and meets every Wednesday from 6-8 pm at Zoe's Cafe in downtown Greeley.